i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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