I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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