I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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