i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
