he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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