I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
