I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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