i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
