I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
