You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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