Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
