Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
