dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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