I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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