it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
