I'm lost and stupid without you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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