i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
