When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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