if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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