Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
