9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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