You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she smelled like a LAN party
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
