So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
More tranny stories later!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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