The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
