shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Boobs are out for the taking
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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