i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
