oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
