Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
