Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
