I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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