I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
