yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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