Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize