Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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