yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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