tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
