Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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