It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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