She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
