You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
