We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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