Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
