the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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