so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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