I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
