happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
