What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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