Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
