During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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