Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
