Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
