AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
