What a fucking waste of an outfit
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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