singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
