i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize