I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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