we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
