Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize