she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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