He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
