..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
