Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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