Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
