I hate all girls vehemently.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
