how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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