I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
