I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
