Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
