Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
